Impressions: This is it, the perfect bullet for me.
Price: $46.75 MSRP, $48 from Wild in Secret
I'm sure I've mentioned this before, but it bears repeating: the lowly bullet was my first sex toy love and no matter how many fancy schmancy toys I have in my collection, there's always at least one bullet among the dizzying array of objets d'sexe (and it usually gets as much--or more--use as anything else in my cabinet of erotic treasures).Sure, I've got a million toys in a million different shapes (okay, so maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration, but considering that I had to buy a cabinet just to store my expanding collection in, there's more than a kernel of truth to that statement), but there's nothing as versatile (or reliable) as the lowly bullet. But the Seventh Heaven Bullet? Lowly isn't the right word for it. Maybe magnificent would be a better choice.
As fate would have it, I got my Seventh Heaven right as my very last double egg (an amazing invention; if the makers of this little gem created a double version, I'd be in, well, seventh heaven, especially if they could use their technology to make the bullets operate independently of one another) was gasping its last breath. Talk about timing!
Based solely on looks, this one was a winner right off the bat. I have to admit, I'm a sucker for an oil slick paint job and the controller on this little beauty boasts a fairly nice one (although after only one use, part of it had rubbed off on the back, followed by some of the front in a couple more uses; but in all fairness, I'm rough on my toys and there is a lovely shade of violet underneath the aurora). Sure, it doesn't scream classy or sophisticated the way the Iris does, but there's something beautiful about it in a sort of 70's retro way. At least to me, at any rate.
But as I always say, looks are completely irrelevant if a toy doesn't get the job done. If it looks pretty and feels fantastic, so much the better, but looks alone don't cut it. I went into testing the Seventh Heaven with high expectations, though. I've only encountered one bullet in my entire sex toy testing career (shh, let me pretend that I've always been a sexual scientist and not just a girl who happened to love sex toys up until several months ago) that didn't work out for me. Even the cheapest bullets seem to generally pack a punch, even if they do have dismally short lifespans, so a fancy bullet (complete with LED technology and push-button controls!!) that packed twice the normal amount of battery power (4 AAs instead of the usual 2) seemed to be a sure bet.
And did it live up to my admittedly high expectations? The answer to that is a very enthusiastic "YES!" The Seventh Heaven is, without a doubt, the best bullet I've ever used. I have to say, the price tag is high for something that's a glorified version of an extremely basic toy that's known for its budget-friendly pricing, but it's actually worth it, believe it or not.
I've never been much of a fan of vibration programs (the changing vibration speeds don't jive with my body, I need constant, consistent, strong vibrations), but even I have to admit that it's a pretty nice perk to have a bullet that has multiple vibration strengths and programs. Pretty high tech for a toy that normally is about as simple as it gets.
But the real seller for me--aside from the awesome vibration power of this thing on the highest setting, which is, incedentally, plenty strong for even a power-tool girl like me--is the push-button controls. I hate the dials that normally serve as the controls on bullets. They're hard to get just right (unless you're like me and always set them as high as they'll go) and they tend to get bumped out of place in the heat of the moment or rolled into the "on" position during storage (or while lying on the floor where they're been dropped during the aftermath). They're a pain, pure and simple. The Seventh Heaven, on the other hand, has an extremely simple, push-button control system. One button turns the bullet on or off (without having to scroll a wheel all the way down to get your toy to turn off) and the other scrolls through the strength settings and vibration patterns (while the LED display changes colors to show which setting you're on).
It's literally so simple that I had no problems at all turning the Seventh Heaven on and finding the right vibration program while blindfolded and wearing suspension cuffs on my hands and wrists (the bulky fingerless mitt type that make any sort of fine-tuned motor control impossible). Could I have done that with a regular bullet? Probably (only because I always set dial-controlled bullets to the highest setting which would mean rolling the dial until it stopped), but it wouldn't have been anywhere near as easy (or as quick) as with the Seventh Heaven.
This is literally the bullet for me. It has power, accurate, incredibly easy-to-master controls, a pretty oil slick paint job and--like ketchup--it seems to go with everything. I use it with all of my dildos (nothing compares to a Maverick/Seventh Heaven combination) and even my beloved Iris for a perfect internal/external vibration combination. And, of course, it feels incredible on its own.
(Buy a Seventh Heaven Bullet from Wild in Secret)
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