Vixen Creations - Bandit

Rating: 5/5
Impressions: If Le Lynx is the ultimate vibrator, the Bandit is the ultimate dildo.
Price: $95 from manufacturer, $91 from Wild in Secret, $90 from JT's Stockroom

After my less than ideal response to the Fun Factory Magnum, I decided that I'd be best off getting another dildo - preferably one that was smaller and/or with a less pronounced head and after a lot of hemming and hawing and research, I finally decided to splurge and get a Bandit.

I'd heard nothing but good things about the Vixskin™ material and the construction of these incredibly life-like dildos, plus Vixen Creations offers a lifetime guarantee on these babies. That's right. Lifetime. That's a big stand to take if you're not fully convinced of the quality of your product.

And so it was that I took the plunge and bought myself a Bandit in spite of the fact that it's measurents are roughly equal to those of the Magnum: 7.25" long by 1.6 - 1.75" wide for the Bandit versus 7.5" long by 1.5 - 1.75" wide for the Magnum. Mathematically-inclined readers will note that the shaft of the Bandit is actually larger than the shaft of the Magnum, although the widest parts of both are the same.

Why on earth would I get another dildo with the same girth when it was the girth that was the problem with the last dildo I bought? Well, there's a couple of answers to that question: (1) the Bandit's material is supposed to be extremely similar to the real human flesh and I can easily handle an actual penis of those dimensions, while toys seem to be less accomodating, as forgiving as Fun Factory's silicone material may be, and (2) I really, really wanted to try a Vixskin dildo and this was a good excuse to buy a Bandit. I'm not going to sit here and pretend that there wasn't an element of justification for an expensive purchase involved here.

Now, onto the details on this little marvel...

Vixen Creations has come up with a silicone material that's very different than that used by Fun Factory (or Tantus or any other company I've come across, actually). The difference lies in the composition. Vixskin™ is created by suspending a "harmless" (I'd love to know what kind we're talking about as it would be great to have a silicone toy-safe silicone lube to use with my toys) silicone lubricant between the molecules of solid silicone material to create a more realistic feel than traditional silicone and the change shows. Vixskin™ is extremely soft and squishy, almost like a jelly material instead of silicone, but without the stickiness, icky smell or potential health issues.

To combat the softness and flexibility of the Vixskin™ dildos, Vixen Creations embeds a solid silicone core inside the shaft to give it enough firmness for penetration and to simulate the feel of a real, erect penis and I have to say, aside from the fact that there seems to be more squishiness around the solid bits than is generally found in the genuine article (but I imagine that's a good thing when it comes to a toy like this as it makes it more forgiving), the Bandit is remarkably lifelike. I'm almost convinced that Vixen Creations has found a way to grow a human penis in the lab and I can't quite get the image of penises growing on the backs of mice in a lab (à la the ear-growing hairless mice that have been pioneered as of late) out of my head.

Simply put, the Bandit is about the most realistic penis I've ever seen unattached from a human body (well, aside from penises that used to be attached to human bodies, of course). From the veins on the shaft to the wrinkles on the testicles to the tiny folds surrounding the head, this thing is eerily realistic looking. Now, not everyone goes for realistic, I understand that. I personally don't have any real preference either way, although I have to admit that the Bandit's looks do pique my sexual interest. I get the feeling that somewhere out there there's a man whose pride and joy looks quite similar to this particular (fake) penis and I have to say: Mister, you've done a great service for women (and men, potentially), and I thank you for it. And if there isn't, then my hat's off to Vixen Creations for having such a creative streak when it comes to visualizing the details of the Bandit.

But looks aren't everything, especially when it comes to sex toys. A toy can be the most beautiful thing you've ever seen, but if it doesn't feel good then its looks are irrelevant. In the world of sex toys, form follows function (although a beautiful toy that performs well is always a bonus). Luckily, the Bandit feels as good as it looks.

I took the Bandit for a test run in the shower (because I'm a water fanatic and any toy that can go in the shower with me probably has at least once and will many more times provided it performs well enough to warrant keeping it around) rather than slathering it with lube for its maiden voyage and the water was more than enough to let me insert and move the Bandit with no problems at all. This little beauty slips right in without so much as a twinge of discomfort (no doubt due to the way the shaft increases in girth as it gets closer to the base rather than being consistently wide all the way down (a problem I had with the Magnum) and to the very forgiving material) and hits all the right spots in all the right ways.

I've never been much of a lover of pure penetration without some sort of clitoral stimulation, but I can honestly say that I've never had as much fun with a dildo and nothing else. Ever. I've never experienced anything so uncannily realistic before outside of the real deal and that makes me a very happy toy owner.

I hate to blaspheme in the Church of Fun Factory, but, true to its name, the Bandit has stolen the dildo limelight and is easily my new favorite dildo (and Vixskin™ my new favorite dildo material). I haven't tried it for anal penetration yet (note the yet), but I'm sure it's going to perform admirably in that particular application as well.

I'm definitely going to have to try the other dildos in the Vixskin™ line (Lonestar and Tex) in the near future. The only question is which one to try first.

(Buy a Bandit from Wild in Secret or JT's Stockroom)