Impressions: Versatile, body-friendly and fun!
Price: $94 from Wild in Secret
The Cone is one of those fairly rare toys that I never knew I needed until I saw it. That's the power of the internet for you, apparently. I'll admit that I can be quite suggestible when it comes to buying some things, but when it comes to sex toys I'm a bit of a tough sell. Simply put, I'm picky. If it vibrates, it has to fit several criteria (a general redux is below):1) It has to be strong enough to feel like a small earthquake and have some sort of power source that won't die on me in the middle of things (even better if it has internal rechargeable batteries or is AC powered)
2) It has to be made of a material that I feel safe inserting into my body (or resting against my body as the case may be with The Cone)
3) It has to have a shape and/or function that appeals to my finicky tastes and needs (generally, that rules out rabbits - although I plan on trying to find one that agrees with me - and the majority of vibrators intended purely for insertion)
So when I saw The Cone, I knew I had to have one. It runs on C batteries which is generally an indication that the toy is going to be strong enough for me (in spite of my husband telling me again and again that it's all about the amperage and that bigger batteries with identical amps only last longer and aren't stronger - personal experience has taught me that the bigger the battery and the more of them there are, the stronger the toy's vibrations tend to be), it's made from body-friendly silicone (my favorite sex toy material) and it has a strange, intriguing shape that's hands free and suited to external (i.e. clitoral and maybe even a little anal) stimulation.
I'm not going to say I didn't have my reservations (It's pink for one thing and I hate pink...why couldn't they make it black? Everyone needs a ninja vibrator! And then there's the issue of that pointy tip...would it hurt? Would the vibrations be concentrated there or in the body? That would have an impact on how effective it would be for me.) but I was fascinated, completely and utterly, with it's design (and by the intriguing "orgasm button").
So imagine my excitement when I saw that WIS was carrying The Cone and I might be able to get one after all (I'm desperately trying to save my money and spending almost $100 on another sex toy just isn't in the budget right now). So close! But like a good girl, I put it on my WISh list and waited to see if the powers that be would send me one rather than launching a guerrilla campaign to get myself one of the pink, vibrating, conical wonders.
The astute reader will have probably reached the conclusion by now that I did, in fact, get one and they would be right. Just this morning, a innocent white box appeared on my doorstep with the mythical Cone inside, begging to be tried out in spite of the fact that I'm currently getting over a severe cold (or maybe it's the flu, but I'm calling it a cold because I got a flu shot and I don't want to believe that it was a waste of money that could have been spent on something fun like, say, oh, I don't know...a Cone).
Once I got it out of the oh-so-mod pyramid shaped packaging, I was impressed all over again by the design. It's magnificently simple. A grey base that holds the 3 C batteries topped by a squishy, bubblegum pink silicone cone (who would have guessed?) with a very discrete control pad consisting of two unlabeled buttons (although they're not really buttons, exactly...more like higher areas of silicone that are extrusions of the rest of the body - the whole thing is one piece, except for the base) that control the "on" and "off" functions as well as cycling through the 16 vibration programs.
The Cone is about as minimalistic as sex toys get. It strikes me as a design that Stanley Kubrick might have come up with for one of his futuristic movies: futuristic in its simplicity but at the same time almost retro. While the fact that the buttons aren't labeled might be an issue for some people who don't think intuitively (obviously the buttons must control The Cone since they're the only sort of controls on the entire thing), the instructions are clear and a bit of experimentation would eliminate any other questions about how to make it work. The only thing that I doubt anyone would discover (unless they accidentally managed to stumble on it while trying to turn The Cone off) is the "orgasm button," which is, in reality, the on/off button held down for 2 seconds, which jumps to vibration program #16.
The material is squishy enough (it's comparable to Fun Factory's silicone) to be comfortable pressed up against sensitive body parts, but firm enough to allow for pleasurable pressure against said parts when they're pressed firmly against The Cone's body. The squishiness also makes even the point of The Cone's body soft enough to set on (something which many users are likely to do, given The Cone's positioning possibilities). Simply put, the entire thing is body friendly. There's nothing here to poke or prod or stab sensitive bits at the wrong moment.
Normally, a toy like The Cone with multiple vibration programs would impress me with its variations (both the sheer number and their individuality), but in the end I'd end up using one of the plain, old-fashioned, consistent vibration levels rather than one of the fancy programs (apparently my clitoris is finicky and/or old-fashioned and doesn't hold with those new-fangled vibration programs and their escalating and decelerating and stopping and starting), but apparently the innovativeness of the design extends to making my body more accepting of a varying vibration pattern because while level #5 (a consistent, strong buzz) is easily my favorite of The Cone's 16 levels, #15 and #16 (the level that the magical "orgasm" button takes you to and which can also be reached through old-fashioned cycling) are also strong contenders.
In spite of its idiosyncrasies (namely the unlabeled buttons and slightly odd operation), The Cone lives up to my expectations 100%, something that doesn't happen as often as I'd like. While I could stand for it to be even a little stronger (I've mentioned before that my personal vibrator motto is "the stronger the better"), it's plenty strong to get the job done and its design makes me one very happy girl.
I love being able to use The Cone and have both my hands free without having to worry about tenuous positioning or having it slip out of place at the wrong time. The bottom has enough grip to keep it safely in place on a smooth, hard surface (like a toilet seat for example...not that I've tried it there or anything, even if the bathroom wall is at the perfect distance to prop my feet against....yeah, right...) while the solid, chunky design means there's plenty of surface area to press up against without having to concentrate on not moving "out of position" and allows for a little anal stimulation if one is so inclined (I know I'm very much inclined towards it and it makes for a very pleasant experience.
I haven't managed to get through anywhere near all of the positions recommended by the manual the manufacturer's helpfully included, but so far I've tried a sort of cross between "the lotus" and "the on the way out" and simply pressing The Cone against my clit and holding it firmly in place with my thighs in a sitting position, both of which felt very nice, although I have to say I prefer the latter, myself, mainly because it seems to provide more contact with my personal erogenous zones and lets me vary the amount of pressure against my girly bits whenever and however I like.
All in all, there's very little I dislike about this little marvel. It's one of those rare toys that completely lives up to my expectations. Bravo, Cone!
(Buy a Cone from Wild in Secret)
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